Controversy at Commonedge.

A true story.  In this week's burning issue we discuss the mole population at Commonedge.  Should they live or die ?

There's been a lot written recently about the state of the council football pitches all over the Fylde Coast and nowhere more so than at Commonedge Road.  There are many reasons for the sad decline including lack of maintenance and investment, illicit friendlies and Compere Cup games through the summer, motorbikes, golfers, horses, training rugby players and quad bikes.

Across the ditch on pitches 7 and 8 we have the additional problem of moles digging up the ground.  Now we all have our cross to bear and some jobs are more interesting and rewarding than others but spare a thought for the 'Mole exterminator' employed by the council to sort out the problem.


Whilst busy in his task the other day minding his own business he was accosted by a lady dog walker.  “What's it like to be a murderer?” the man was asked and “Does your wife, mother and children know you murder defenceless animals”.  The problem with Alice and Wonderland and the like has given these creatures a cute and furry reputation.  The little fellas almost have individual personalities and unlike rats, pigeons and slugs are not perceived as unpleasant vermin.

The pest controller countered that the moles were digging up the pitches leaving holes in the playing surface and as such were putting the health and safety of players in danger.  The woman replied, “Sod the footballers, they're all just a bunch of useleess, overweight foul-mouthed slobs who waste their time kicking around a bag of air.  Maybe you should destroy the footballers instead and leave these poor creatures alone.”  (Fair point, well made).

At the same time her Shitsu was depositing a steamimg turd adjacent to the penalty spot.  She refused to clean it up.  The exterminator threatened to call the dog warden at which time she hurried away.

An emotional issue I'm sure you'll agree.  Should the moles be spared ?  The council budget does not run to relocation expenses so it's either us or the moles.  Sorry children, they have to die.

Aggressive vermin causing constant problems at Commonedge. 


0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *